It can get up to 65 degress centigrade in Hell. That's bloody hot!
You want to go there? Just commit a mortal sin or don't accept my invitation to adore me.
The bottom left should say Venial Sin -
this sign writer is going to Hell!
This one's too small to read -
are all Christian sign writers
keen to go to Hell?
Sorry about the signs.
It works like this:
Mortal Sin: Go to Hell, go directly to Hell, do not pass go.
Venial Sin: You're still in the game but you just landed on Oxford Street, it's got a hotel and it's not owned by you.
Ha! Did you like the Monopoly idea? I thought of that because I'm a clever guy. I'm very clever, in fact I'm the cleverest guy of all!
Okay, so summer is a time to think about Hell and how you don't really want to go there.
Some people will go straight to Hell.
Here's a list of some certainties:
- People in non Catholic religions
- Real nasty bastards
- Gay people
- Extremely fat people (for the sin of gluttony)
- The Curmudgeon
- Heavy Metalers
- People with really bad breath (who would want them in Heaven?)
- Jazz musicians
- Trombone players
- People who drive V8s
Don't get all smug if you're not on the list because there are more of you going too.