Saturday, June 18, 2011

God the Father certainly didn't invent crappy posts!

What has happened to Richard (of RBB)? There was a time when people waited for his latest thoughts, but now we get crap like this. I've decided to use my godly powers to block Richard (of RBB) from posting on his site, until I see evidence that he actually has something to say.
I now say,
"Richard (of RBB) you are blocked from Richard's Bass Bag - THE BLOG! God's will be done. However, I will still allow you to comment. I am a very just God, aren't I!"

Monday, June 13, 2011

The Parable of the Prodigal Son - Part 2.

Okay, I give you guys a lot of guidance; I am, after all, the friggin' light and the way.
So Richard (of RBB) sins and doesn't believe in me but, when times get tough for him, I help him publish his blog and let him use my amenities.
I am, indeed, a very kind Angry Jesus at times and Richard (of RBB) is like the prodigal son coming home.

Hi sinners.

I regret to report that, due to technical difficulties, Richard (of RBB) is still unable to post on his blog. He says he updated to Google 9, or something, and this might be causing the problem. He's welcome to post here until things are fixed. Actually it's doing wonders for my site views! At the time of writing this site has had 1537 views - not bad for a Christian site! Well, to be honest, I try to avoid the Christian label because it always conjures up images of the old days; and lions.
Richard (of RBB) tells me that all is well with his practice. He's planning on really pushing his solo repertoire; whatever that means.
It's good to see Second Fiddle fishing. I told my apostles I'd make them fishers of men. That doesn't mean I asked them to be gay. I was telling them, in a cool way, to expand my flock. Though, don't get me wrong, being gay is fine. A lot of Christians waste too much bloody time thinking about the gay issue and making decisions about what is right and wrong, when that's really my job. Look, all love is natural. Just go for it.
I say,
"Gay is okay."
There's a slogan for you. I have a knack of coming up with good slogans, probably because I'm the Son of God.
That's it for this morning, I'm off to try to convert TwistedScottishBastard.
See you soon.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Richard (of RBB)'s review of the Sonny Rollins concert.

Saturday 11th June; Michael Fowler Centre; Wellington, NZ.
One of my most lasting memories will be the joy on my youngest brother's face (also a double bassist) after he got to shake hands with the bassist who played on The Sidewinder. After the concert Mr Cranshaw wandered out to retrieve his music and was happy to chat from the edge of the stage. He played the concert partly obscured behind a double music stand and I wondered why he needed dots - the song structures were pretty straight forward, and I'm sure he's played them many times.
Set list:
1. D. Cherry
2. Patanjali
3. Blue Gardenia
4. Serenade
5. Newark News
6. They Say It’s Wonderful
7. Tenor Madness
8. Don’t Stop the Carnival
His bass guitar playing was rock steady, as was the playing of the whole band.
It will also be a while before I forget Mr Rollins' hair. His white mop sat on his head like one of those Russian hats. His body looked a bit bent and frail, but he was able to call on an enormous amount of energy - and what a set of lungs! He played for just under two hours and there was no doubt that he played every note on that saxophone many times! His playing sounded fresh and like he was finding every phrase for the first time. He was in total command. It is always a special privilege to get to hear someone like Mr Rollins when one lives in a country so far away from the main action.
It took me a little while to get into the music - that's no criticism, I think I'm just a bit slow to catch on sometimes.
'They Say It's Wonderful' really caught me up in the music. 'Tenor Madness' seemed to slip in - almost like the band didn't know what he was going to play; that kept us in the audience guessing for a short while. Mr Rollins seemed to explore every possible way through those blues changes and, with such an onto it rhythm section, was able to step a long way out. Great stuff!
After the concert everyone seemed to be smiling. Shelley and I stood around and chatted with friends until officials herded us out of the auditorium. Nights like this are always special and are never to be forgotten.
To steal a quote from my dear friend Nicola (of Nicola's Supermarket Bag),
"What happens in life is not what happens to you, but what you remember and how you remember it."

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Hi followers.

It's nice to be able to do the Christian thing and help out Richard (of RBB) by letting him post here while he is having trouble posting on his bass bag blog.
Don't forget to follow my commandments, or you'll rot in Hell for eternity.
Here they are, just in case you've forgotten them...
1"I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage (I'm not talking sexual bondage in this instance). You shall have no other gods before Me."
2“You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a bloody jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My Commandments. Okay, I admit that the jealousy thing is something I'm working on."
3“You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain. So don't say things like "Jesus Christ!" if you hit your finger with a hammer."
4“Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labour and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your male servant, nor your female servant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it. I do make an exception for essential services and supermarkets."
5“Honour your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you. Also, if you have a cat, don't let it rule the bloody place."
6“You shall not murder, except if you're in the USA's armed forces - then you can just call it collateral damage."
7“You shall not commit adultery. Well, not on a regular basis, but it is better than paedophilia."
8“You shall not steal; as a general rule. Though it's less of a sin if you can get away with it."
9“You shall not bear false witness against your neighbour. Actually, you sort of can; mostly. Just don't make it too bloody obvious."
10“You shall not covet your neighbour's house; you shall not covet your neighbour's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbour's. I must admit that the ox and donkey thing is less important these days as most neighbours don't have them grazing in the back yard. Also the servants thing is a bit redundant - covet them if you want."

Here is Richard (of RBB)'s Saturday Post.

Sold to the couple with two double basses!

We've paid off our mortgage! Okay, we still owe a bit at the moment on other things and most of our appliances have broken down, but we've paid off our house!
Okay, it may not be a mansion and it may be in Nuova Lazio, but we own it!

I'm going to see Sonny Rollins tonight. Sonny was born Theodore Walter Rollins in 1930. I don't know where he got the name Sonny, but I do know that, around 1955, he picked up the nickname "Newk" because he looked like the Brooklyn Dodgers' pitcher Don Newcombe. Well, there you go.
Bob Cranshaw will be on bass.
I'm off to get a tyre shortly. Enjoy your Saturday.