Monday, January 8, 2018

How old is old?

Two of my flock, Robert and The Curmudgeon, have been arguing about how old things are. Here are a few pictures to get you in the right frame of mind.

Old chair

Old dog

Old car

Carbon dating was mentioned by the boys.


Two people dating

Okay, okay, that was a little humour to kick things off. Here are the facts.
The Bible was written just over 2,000 years ago and not much of worth happened before then. Really it was just savages running around. This was because of bloody Eve (of Adam and Eve) leading the first boy astray. Incidently, that's where the word dating was first used, so it's an old word. Adam and Eve happened 6.000 years ago - a very long time ago. Anyway, Dad wrote The Bible and that's where you should get your facts from. The Bible doesn't need interpretation because Dad told it the way it is (was). Remember that Dad made science.

If you don't understand all this, it might be worthwhile consulting The Book of Baxter.

The Book of Baxter 1/0:1

Baxter


In the beginning there was absolutely nothing, well except for God, Angry Jesus and Mrs God. 
And there was Heaven - the three of them had to live somewhere.
One day (exactly 6,000 years and three weeks ago) God said, "I'm going to make something."
First of all He made a bookcase.

It took him the best part of a day.

Then He made a deck.

It was a big deck.

Then, while they all sat on the deck, Angry Jesus said, "This is uncomfortable. We need some outdoor furniture."


Blam! "Done!" said God.
Angry Jesus said, "You made the bookcase and the deck properly but, when it came to the furniture, you just used your super powers. Why not make something a bit more spectacular?"
It took a while for Him to get onto really big things. Two weeks actually, but He was in no hurry.
Then He really got going and a week later the Earth (aka Jasper) was done - with light, food, two people, a snake and a sacred apple tree. The rest is history and is recorded accurately in The Bible.

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